Blog - Family and Couples Counseling in Colorado

Befriending Boredom

Befriending Boredom

Written by Kate Pauley Part II of my travel blog series. Several years ago, I came across this concept of "allowing yourself to get bored." I don't remember where I read it, but the idea was, if you can allow yourself some time to be bored, what you really want will become clear. I thought this sounded great, and sometimes shared the idea with my clients, but I hadn't actually put this into practice. Until now. When I structured my solo travel, I didn’t plan to move around too much, I really wanted to get [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-10-01T17:42:40+00:00September 15th, 2022|Individual Therapy|

A New Way to Set Intentions

A New Way to Set Intentions

Written by Kate Pauley This is part of a 3-part series on experiencing growth through traveling from the perspective of a therapist. Part I For a long time I have wanted to solo travel, and with COVID, grad school, life, there just never seemed to be a "good time." So eventually, I just committed. I decided that as a therapist, I need to expand my view of the world, meet new people, learn new perspectives, and grow myself as an individual. This series covers some of my reflections on traveling from the perspective of a therapist. [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-10-01T18:17:30+00:00September 1st, 2022|Individual Therapy|

Here’s Why Expressing Emotions Strengthens Relationships

Here’s Why Expressing Emotions Strengthens Relationships

When we're in a committed relationship, our brains release chemicals that cause us to feel a wide range of emotions. Sometimes we feel positive feelings about our partners and ourselves, and other times we feel impartial or even destructive emotions. Part of having a fantastic relationship is being able to confide in your partner about your emotions. But the path to emotional openness is often littered with obstacles. Emotions and Openness in a Relationship When you tell someone close to you something personal, like how you feel anxious about an upcoming work project, and they show compassion, it helps you feel [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-08-18T04:25:46+00:00August 18th, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Supporting a Loved One’s Mental Health

Supporting a Loved One’s Mental Health

Written by Kate Pauley Close connection with others can be a source of immense support and joy. Having people you can go to both as a place to share in the good things and a place to get help is what makes community an invaluable resource. Some people are particularly skilled to be support people; you know the ones. That first person you think of when you need a sympathetic ear, or someone to make a plan, or just someone to convince you to do the bizarre, exciting thing you can’t do on your own. If you are one [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-08-04T18:47:04+00:00August 4th, 2022|Mental Health Counseling|

Differential Processing in Relationships

Differential Processing in Relationships

Written by Kate Pauley A common experience in intimate partnerships is when each person has a distinctly different way of processing and organizing information. This can lead to misunderstandings, unintentional hurt, and patterns of conflict that build over years. It’s hard to know how to talk about differences in processing because often we don’t know that is what’s going on, but we can see the impact. These are just some of the ways that differential processing can show up in intimate partnerships. Perceptions: Couples consistently talk about how they both remember a situation differently. One person is [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-08-04T18:55:59+00:00July 30th, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Are you doing foreplay wrong?

Are you doing foreplay wrong?

Written by Kate Pauley Are you doing foreplay wrong? I've been doing a lot of research into desire recently. This question of "how to keep the desire alive" looms over long term relationships. There are books, podcasts, research articles, blog posts about this question, and still we as humans seem to be grappling with this. In my research the other day, I came across a statement that really struck me. The statement was this: "Foreplay begins the moment that sex ends." I will let that sink in a moment. Foreplay begins the [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-10-04T17:24:05+00:00July 2nd, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Sexual Desire Discrepancy

Sexual Desire Discrepancy

Written by Kate Pauley When One Partner Wants More Sex What a challenging question to answer. The bad news is, I won’t be able to definitively answer that for you in this post, but I can give you some ideas as to where to start in trying to answer this question. So read on if you, throughout your relationship, have either found yourself or your partner wanting differing amounts of sex. We've all heard the stereotype that men like to have more sex than women. And in reality, there is some truth to that statement. The [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-10-04T17:23:50+00:00June 1st, 2022|Couples Counseling|

The Importance of Relationship Check

The Importance of Relationship Check

Written by Kate Pauley Our performance in the professional setting is constantly evaluated. We receive reviews from bosses and peers, and get feedback based upon how we are doing. These evaluations provide others an opportunity to reflect on how we are performing, as well as create space for our own selves to reflect and consider how we are doing. These evaluations are useful because they provide us with both opportunities for growth, as well as build our self-esteem and confidence by identifying areas in which we are excelling. This same concept of the "performance evaluation" can be [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-10-04T17:24:24+00:00May 18th, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Is it too soon? Is it too late? Couples Counseling Across the Lifespan

Is it too soon? Is it too late? Couples Counseling Across the Lifespan

Written by Kate Pauley When considering counseling, couples can often find themselves asking one of two questions: Is this a big enough deal to go to counseling, or, is it too late to fix this? It can be easy to find reasons not to seek support for your relationship, and some of the most common reasons are the stage of life and length of time in the relationship. We often have a notion that only a relationship of a certain stage or age is “right” for couples counseling. But the truth is, any time can be [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-05-02T14:52:00+00:00May 2nd, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Why Doesn’t My Partner Want To Have Sex With Me?

Why Doesn’t My Partner Want To Have Sex With Me?

Written by Kate Pauley At the Colorado Center for Couples and Families, we work primarily with couples in relationship distress. One of the questions on our intake paperwork is “how satisfied are you with the sexual intimacy in your relationship?” Very often, the response to this question is, “not satisfied.” Typically, when there is conflict and discomfort in a couple’s relationship, we also see dissatisfaction in the couple’s sexual relationship. There may be many reasons for the dissatisfaction, but the three most common reasons that I see are because of a lack of intimacy in the emotional [...]

By Kate Pauley|2022-04-23T14:13:02+00:00April 21st, 2022|Couples Counseling|

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