Though we divorced when they were very young, we have remained very close friends, and I count her husband as a friend as well. My kids love their step-siblings, and I love them too. When she was 16 my daughter told me that she loved her life and wouldn’t change a thing. Now that is pretty great coming from an 16-year-old girl!
For five weeks in the summer of 2013 my daughter and I walked the 500-mile Camino de Santiago – the entire width of Spain from France to the Ocean. The summer before that, my son and I backpacked 120 miles on the Colorado Trail from Denver to Breckenridge. It took us four summers in total, but in 2018 we finally finished the rest of the 500-mile trail. We both loved/hated it, but what a fantastic bonding experience! I love walking, hiking, and backpacking, and my not-so-secret dream is to hike the entire Pacific Crest Trail from Mexico to Canada.
I like that I did not start my couples counseling career at age 20. I am now completely energized by it, and I think my real life experience helps me relate to many of the family therapy clients I see. The best thing a client ever said to me was that I was the only therapist they had ever seen whom they felt they could be friends with in their real lives. I took that as a great compliment. I like that I don’t come off as too new-agey. I don’t burn incense in my office, and I can relate to real people because I am pretty down-to-earth myself. But I do take my work and family therapy seriously. When my ex-wife and I were going through our divorce, we saw some pretty bad couples therapists. I often wonder what our outcome would have been had we worked with a really good EFT therapist – someone who actually knew how to work with couples. I work hard to be good at what I do because I think it is really important. No matter where you are in your relationship, if you want to make it better, so do I.