In a word – absolutely!  I absolutely love providing couples counseling for same-sex and transgender couples.  And it surprises me how many couples therapists out there either don’t want to, or don’t feel qualified to work with the LGBT community.  One of the things I love about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and attachment theory (in which EFT is largely rooted), is that it provides great latitude for therapists to work with whatever unique issues a couple brings into the therapy room.  But EFT and attachment theory also recognize that the underlying causes of a couple’s distress is rooted in feeling insecurely [...]

What does it mean if my husband doesn't want to have sex?  Is there something wrong with him?  Is there something wrong with me?  The answer to both is... Probably not!  However, if you came to see me in in my couples practice, my first question would be "what do you mean when you say he doesn't want sex?" The Higher Desire Partner Do you mean he doesn't want sex as often as you do? If this is the case, it's not surprising. Generally, in most healthy relationships, one partner is the “higher desire” partner who wants sex more often than [...]

Blending two families can be both challenging and rewarding. You might be facing questions like, “How do I parent my new partner’s kids?” or “How do I support my children through this transition?” Here are a few strategies that have proved successful in my work with couples and families as they navigate this process. Tread lightly when entering into a family with children.  Just as a biological parenting relationship grows over time, a step-parenting relationship must grow over time as well.  Don’t try to rush it.  The more naturally you allow your relationship with your new or prospective step-children to grow, [...]

When is a friend not just a friend? When can a “friendship” be threatening to a marriage? Most people think of an affair as having sex with someone outside of your marriage. More and more attention, however, is now being paid to “emotional affairs” that are not overtly sexual, but are still potentially damaging to your marriage. What is An "Emotional Affair?" Defining an emotional affair can be tricky. Here are some indicators that your “friendship” might not be as innocent as you think. Do you keep the details of your friendship secret from your partner? Maybe you've told your partner [...]

This question's almost guaranteed to be pondered by every parent with children who is contemplating divorce.  Don't think that just because you try to "stick it out" for the kids that they will be happier.  If you can't figure out how to have a happy house, it's not best for anybody.  Kids know and feel the energy around them.  Even if you aren't fighting, your child can feel the tension. What messes kids up is not feeling safe with their parents, not having a sense of security -- in or out of the context of marriage.  When parents aren't being honest [...]

Choosing a marriage counselor who is right for you and your partner is the first critical step in resolving issues within your relationship.   The best way to start is by interviewing therapists who have the potential to be a good fit.  Always interview first, before beginning a therapeutic relationship.  If the counselor you contact does not consent to an interview, consider that a red flag!  You might have to pay for it, but schedule this first session and then decide later whether or not to continue.  Do both you and your partner like the therapist as a person?  If not, chances are [...]

"Love is everything it is cracked up to be. It is really worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, your risk is even greater." - Erica Jong The most damaging myth in American culture today is that we must be independent to be happy and healthy; that needing others is a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, the opposite is true. We are wired from birth to need each other, and love is the mechanism by which we connect. To most people love has [...]