Blog

What Should We Discuss In Premarital Counseling?

  Written By: Caitlin Edwards In my work with couples, I first want to know what your agreements are regarding your relationship. I frequently experience couples reporting that the agreements in their relationship are implicit rather than explicit. What the relationship means, where the relationship is going, and what is and what is not okay in the relationship are often topics that are assumed rather than deliberately named and discussed. As such, I want to put forth a number of aspects relationships that I believe are necessary to be thoroughly understood prior to entering a legally committed relationship. Premarital counseling can help [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:22:58+00:00May 31st, 2020|Premarital Therapy|

Do I stay or do I go? Dealing with Ambivalence after Infidelity

Written by: Caitlin Edwards I see this frequently: one member of a couple has broken an agreement in the relationship and now one (or both) members of the couple are uncertain as to whether they should stay in the relationship or leave.  This can be agonizing—you may struggle with what seems like moment by moment indecision regarding what you desire your future of your relationship to be.  Although ambivalence can be difficult, ambivalence also indicates that there is a part of you that is still invested in the relationship.  Ambivalence occurs in two stages and leads to two distinct questions.  One, [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:25:49+00:00May 28th, 2020|Infidelity Therapy|

What are normal reactions after the discovery of infidelity?

Written by: Caitlin Edwards   I consistently work with couples coming in for therapy because of infidelity.  In my experience, this is one of the most painful reasons to seek couples therapy, no matter if the affair was ten years or ten days ago.  I am frequently asked the same question: “is my reaction normal?”  As such, it feels important to me to name what is normal for couples coming in because of this painful discovery.   Reactions of the betrayed partners Learning about infidelity can result in a response like a physical attack: our entire nervous system gets brought online and [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:25:57+00:00May 26th, 2020|Infidelity Therapy|

Re-establishing Safety after Infidelity

Written by: Caitlin Edwards   Many of the couples I work with tell me that their relationships no longer feel safe after infidelity has been disclosed.  This makes sense: what partners thought they had agreed to with their partner has been violated.  Without predictability, safety is hard to come by.  Therefore, to re-establish safety and trust the relationship must come to feel predictable again.  Partners need to feel as though they know each other, as learning about infidelity can leave you feeling like you are living with a stranger.  So, how do you re-establish safety and security in your relationship?  Primarily, [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:26:06+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Couples Counseling, Infidelity Therapy|

Healthy Sexuality Basics: Physical Touch

Written by: Caitlin Edwards   When working with couples, my experience is that discussing sex falls into two categories.  It is either great and easy to talk about—or it is a primary concern that cannot be broached.  We find ourselves in a society that is both inundated in sexual content and yet silent on what healthy sexual relationships look like, leaving us unsure how to navigate conversations about who we are as sexual beings.  We often lack understanding about our sexuality and the taboo nature of this topic results in silence rather than active questioning.  Discussing sexual intimacy is hard, and [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:26:13+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Couples Counseling|

So…are we just friends?

Written By: Caitlin Edwards   The couples I work with who come in struggling with infidelity often tell me a similar story.  The member of the couple who had the affair will often begin with ‘at first we were just friends.’  This is a hard place for everyone: we do not want to limit our partners friends.  And, at the same time, we want to be our partner’s primary point of contact, the person they share their life with.  So, a fundamental question arises: how do we know if someone is ‘just a friend?’  There are several ways in which we [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:26:21+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Couples Counseling, Infidelity Therapy|

Rebuilding Your Home: Infidelity in Committed Relationships

Written by: Courtney Kershaw.   People seem to love home makeover shows. Entire networks are dedicated to rebuilding, re-styling, and re-designing homes from the ground up. And what’s the most exciting part?  Is it the drama of how the designers overcome unexpected obstacles?  Is it seeing them find that one accent piece that makes all the difference in a room?  Is it the big reveal at the end when you see a transformation you couldn’t have imagined? Maybe it’s a little bit of everything. You need all those parts to make the house come together in the end. But in so [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:26:30+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Infidelity Therapy|

Communicating with Your Loved Ones: Sometimes It’s Complicated

Written by: Courtney Kershaw.   I was having a conversation with someone the other day about the challenges of communicating with loved ones. She was saying that recently it’s become clear to her that there is a wide gap between how she is able to talk with colleagues or casual acquaintances as opposed to her closest people.  I know she’s not the only one to feel this way because I identified with the struggle as well. So why is it sometimes the hardest with the people we love? After thinking on this for a while the simplest answer seemed to be [...]

By |2020-06-01T23:26:37+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Couples Counseling, Premarital Therapy|

How to Nurture Family Relationships and Promote Change and Harmony

For many people, familial relationships are incredibly important. Whether it’s your relationship with your child, your children’s relationships with one another, or relationships within a blended family—you likely strive to keep them strong. Unfortunately, as much as you may try to keep the peace, arguments are going to crop up from time to time. Sometimes these disagreements could escalate, leading to icy relations within the family. If you’re struggling to nurture your family’s relationships, don’t lose hope. There are  things you can do to help promote harmony in your household, making your family unit stronger than ever. Consider some of them. [...]

By |2020-05-22T20:23:08+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Family Therapy|

Couples, How Does Ambition Impact Your Relationship?

What factors impact a relationship? On the “plus” side of the ledger, you might list trust, love, lust, compatibility, and more. Running counter to those concerns might be suspicion, poor communication, distance, etc. Where would ambition fit in? On which side — plus or minus — would you list personal initiative and drive? Well, it’s a bit of a trick question. Ambition can mean anything without context. How ambition impacts your relationship might depend on how it’s expressed. Also, the strength of your foundation plays a major role. To make matters more confusing, we may each have our own definition of [...]

By |2020-05-22T20:18:10+00:00May 22nd, 2020|Couples Counseling, Premarital Therapy|