Kate Pauley

About Kate Pauley

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So far Kate Pauley has created 16 blog entries.

Learning to Trust Your Intuition

By |2022-10-04T17:23:21+00:00September 27th, 2022|Individual Therapy|

Written by Kate Pauley         Part III of my travel blog series.   One of the most special things about traveling alone is having the opportunity to do what you want, when you want, all day long.  As a woman, I often find myself in the "people pleasing" role.  When someone asks me, "what do you want to do tonight" I typically respond with, "no preferences, totally up to you."  And I would do this in all aspects of my life.  "What do you want to eat?" "I'm up for anything." "Where do you want to go on vacation?" [...]

Befriending Boredom

By |2022-10-01T17:42:40+00:00September 15th, 2022|Individual Therapy|

Written by Kate Pauley         Part II of my travel blog series.   Several years ago, I came across this concept of "allowing yourself to get bored."  I don't remember where I read it, but the idea was, if you can allow yourself some time to be bored, what you really want will become clear.  I thought this sounded great, and sometimes shared the idea with my clients, but I hadn't actually put this into practice.  Until now.   When I structured my solo travel, I didn’t plan to move around too much, I really wanted to get [...]

A New Way to Set Intentions

By |2022-10-01T18:17:30+00:00September 1st, 2022|Individual Therapy|

Written by Kate Pauley         This is part of a 3-part series on experiencing growth through traveling from the perspective of a therapist.   Part I   For a long time I have wanted to solo travel, and with COVID, grad school, life, there just never seemed to be a "good time."  So eventually, I just committed.  I decided that as a therapist, I need to expand my view of the world, meet new people, learn new perspectives, and grow myself as an individual.  This series covers some of my reflections on traveling from the perspective of a therapist. [...]

Here’s Why Expressing Emotions Strengthens Relationships

By |2022-08-18T04:25:46+00:00August 18th, 2022|Couples Counseling|

When we're in a committed relationship, our brains release chemicals that cause us to feel a wide range of emotions. Sometimes we feel positive feelings about our partners and ourselves, and other times we feel impartial or even destructive emotions. Part of having a fantastic relationship is being able to confide in your partner about your emotions. But the path to emotional openness is often littered with obstacles. Emotions and Openness in a Relationship When you tell someone close to you something personal, like how you feel anxious about an upcoming work project, and they show compassion, it helps you feel [...]

Supporting a Loved One’s Mental Health

By |2022-08-04T18:47:04+00:00August 4th, 2022|Mental Health Counseling|

Written by Kate Pauley         Close connection with others can be a source of immense support and joy. Having people you can go to both as a place to share in the good things and a place to get help is what makes community an invaluable resource. Some people are particularly skilled to be support people; you know the ones. That first person you think of when you need a sympathetic ear, or someone to make a plan, or just someone to convince you to do the bizarre, exciting thing you can’t do on your own. If you are one [...]

Differential Processing in Relationships

By |2022-08-04T18:55:59+00:00July 30th, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Written by Kate Pauley         A common experience in intimate partnerships is when each person has a distinctly different way of processing and organizing information. This can lead to misunderstandings, unintentional hurt, and patterns of conflict that build over years. It’s hard to know how to talk about differences in processing because often we don’t know that is what’s going on, but we can see the impact. These are just some of the ways that differential processing can show up in intimate partnerships.   Perceptions: Couples consistently talk about how they both remember a situation differently. One person is [...]

Are you doing foreplay wrong?

By |2022-10-04T17:24:05+00:00July 2nd, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Written by Kate Pauley         Are you doing foreplay wrong?   I've been doing a lot of research into desire recently.  This question of "how to keep the desire alive" looms over long term relationships.  There are books, podcasts, research articles, blog posts about this question, and still we as humans seem to be grappling with this.  In my research the other day, I came across a statement that really struck me.  The statement was this:     "Foreplay begins the moment that sex ends."     I will let that sink in a moment.  Foreplay begins the [...]

Sexual Desire Discrepancy

By |2022-10-04T17:23:50+00:00June 1st, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Written by Kate Pauley         When One Partner Wants More Sex What a challenging question to answer.  The bad news is, I won’t be able to definitively answer that for you in this post, but I can give you some ideas as to where to start in trying to answer this question.  So read on if you, throughout your relationship, have either found yourself or your partner wanting differing amounts of sex.   We've all heard the stereotype that men like to have more sex than women.  And in reality, there is some truth to that statement.  The [...]

The Importance of Relationship Check

By |2022-10-04T17:24:24+00:00May 18th, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Written by Kate Pauley         Our performance in the professional setting is constantly evaluated.  We receive reviews from bosses and peers, and get feedback based upon how we are doing.  These evaluations provide others an opportunity to reflect on how we are performing, as well as create space for our own selves to reflect and consider how we are doing.  These evaluations are useful because they provide us with both opportunities for growth, as well as build our self-esteem and confidence by identifying areas in which we are excelling.   This same concept of the "performance evaluation" can be [...]

Is it too soon? Is it too late? Couples Counseling Across the Lifespan

By |2022-05-02T14:52:00+00:00May 2nd, 2022|Couples Counseling|

Written by Kate Pauley           When considering counseling, couples can often find themselves asking one of two questions: Is this a big enough deal to go to counseling, or, is it too late to fix this? It can be easy to find reasons not to seek support for your relationship, and some of the most common reasons are the stage of life and length of time in the relationship. We often have a notion that only a relationship of a certain stage or age is “right” for couples counseling. But the truth is, any time can be [...]

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