Written by: Courtney Kershaw.   Communication with your partner is a staple of a relationship. Learning how to enhance and expand communication during life stage changes is an extension of that skill that any couple can utilize. If you already have a foundation of being able to identify and express your needs with your partner, then the next steps is integrating some room for the unpredictable or unplanned parts that come up in a relationship during pregnancy. So what changes in communication with your partner when you’re experiencing life stage changes? New Topics for New Stages Needs: Identify core needs. Both [...]

Written by: Melissa Pilarski.     Couples start therapy for a variety of reasons. “Improving communication” is most often a target couples want to work towards in therapy. I often hear partners describe feeling unsupported, unheard, or like their partner doesn’t “get them” anymore. So much emotional pain can stem from miscommunication. If left unaddressed, it can grow worse and bleed into other areas of your life. It can feel like walking into a brick wall after several failed attempts to communicate emotional pain with a partner. I’ve heard partners describe the sinking feeling time and time again, when they walk [...]

Written by: Courtney Kershaw.   The word “intimacy” can easily conjure images like a montage of scenes from a romantic comedy. A couple laughing and embracing, seeming so in love without a care in the world and everything they do has a soft glow of romance. But so rarely does real life mirror this idealized version of intimacy. Sure, occasionally big romantic experience happen and they can feel very intimate and connective, but what about all the time in between? How do relationships foster intimacy between the blockbuster moments? Let’s look at the components of what intimacy is. In one form, [...]

Written by: Melissa Pilarski.     Vulnerability is allowing others to see you for ALL of who you are-- including your shame. We’re talking about the parts of yourself that you don’t even want to acknowledge exist. It hurts too much. There is a real fear that if you share your shame story with someone, they will no longer accept you for all of what makes you who you are. That fear is often big enough to hold us back from sharing. This fear of not being accepted by others makes complete sense, especially when you take attachment theory into consideration. [...]

Written by: Courtney Kershaw.   One of the most common things that we talk about in couples counseling is communication. What it looks like now, what the couple wants it to look like, and what good communication even means to them. And when we explore what communication means, it has a lot of components. How someone interacts physically, whether they are looking at the person and paying attention while they’re talking, if someone gets cut off…the list goes on. But something that gets brought up a lot is the feeling of being validated—most notably a partner can identify that they are [...]

Written by: Caitlin Edwards     One the most common questions I get from prospective clients is what does the process look like? In typical therapist fashion, it depends. As such, I often answer this question with follow up questions: What are your goals for therapy? How would you know that things between you and your partner have improved? Do you and your partner agree on what the problem is? If not, how do each of you conceptualize the problem? How much work are you each willing to put into the relationship? Once these questions are answered, I can better explain [...]