Written by Jonathan Zalesne In a word – absolutely! I absolutely love providing couples counseling for same-sex and transgender couples. And it surprises me how many couples therapists out there either don’t want to, or don’t feel qualified to work with the LGBT community. One of the things I love about Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) and attachment theory (in which EFT is largely rooted), is that it provides great latitude for therapists to work with whatever unique issues a couple brings into the therapy room. But EFT and attachment theory also recognize that the underlying causes of a couple’s distress [...]

Written by Jonathan Zalesne What does it mean if my husband doesn't want to have sex? Is there something wrong with him? Is there something wrong with me? The answer to both is... Probably not! However, if you came to see me in in my couples practice, my first question would be "what do you mean when you say he doesn't want sex?" The Higher Desire Partner Do you mean he doesn't want sex as often as you do? If this is the case, it's not surprising. Generally, in most healthy relationships, one partner is the “higher desire” partner who wants [...]

Written by Jonathan Zalesne When is a friend not just a friend? When can a “friendship” be threatening to a marriage? Most people think of an affair as having sex with someone outside of your marriage. More and more attention, however, is now being paid to “emotional affairs” that are not overtly sexual, but are still potentially damaging to your marriage. What is An "Emotional Affair?" Defining an emotional affair can be tricky. Here are some indicators that your “friendship” might not be as innocent as you think. Do you keep the details of your friendship secret from your partner? [...]