What a time to be alive! A few clicks and a swipe and you’ve found true love — or at least, true lust? Digital dating is not some passing phase. Studies show that at least one-fifth of Internet users have tried a dating app. The concept is entrenched already and the results, well…the results are mixed. Like anything that deals with affairs of the heart, there are pros and cons.
6 Cons of Digital Dating
The truth is out there…but where? Digital profiles leave plenty of room for, um, improvisation? Age, height, weight, relationship status, and more — all of it can be fudged. Even the photos. They might be a decade old or they might be complete fakes.
From within the realm of deception comes the ugly reality of bots. A fair amount of profiles are the dating world equivalent of spam calls.
Smartphone-based communication allows us to vanish in ways never before possible. Ghosting is a thing and it exists for online dating. You’re chatting and at least one of you feels a connection is being made. And then, poof! They’re gone, never to be heard from again.
4. The Hookup Culture
Continuing on the theme of deception, we have the category of what a person is “seeking.” It could be “activity friends” or “long term dating” or “casual sex.” Sadly, in age infamous for its hookups, it feels like almost everyone (especially men) are really just on the hunt for casual connections.
5. Too Many Choices
Thousands and thousands of people spanning across dozens of dating apps. Variety is wonderful. Too many options, however, is downright daunting.
6. Trolls, Weirdos, and Predators
This is the most dangerous side of deception. There are people who use dating apps for nefarious reasons. This is when #4 in the pros section is so, so crucial!
6 Pros of Digital Dating
1. You Get to Tell Your Story Up Front
Crafting an opening line is ulcer-inducing. First dates can feel like stressful job interviews. Digital dating empowers us to create a profile in which all the basics are laid out before contact is made. Brief a sigh of relief.
2. Those People-Matching Algorithms
Most dating apps are designed to match customers with those who most closely align with their personality and needs.
You can flirt on your couch, in your underwear, and not deal with the whole picking-out-an-outfit thing until you’re more certain you want to meet.
4. Getting Input From Trusted Allies
With all the deception highlighted above, this is a major pro. Let’s say you start to chat and flirt with an interesting person. Thanks to online dating, you can call in the posse and get all the input from loved ones who have perused the person’s profile.
Dating apps will charge you from premium options. Dating and going to clubs is WAY more expensive.
6. You Might Make a Few New Friends
Even if you don’t find a date, you might make some cool new friends!
Time for Digital Therapy?
Like any form of dating, digital match-ups are tricky to navigate. But you can balance things out with in-office therapy or even digital counseling. Working with a therapist gives you a chance to learn more about yourself and your needs.
The dating world has always been a potential minefield of emotions. Regular counseling sessions can put you in touch with your own patterns — both productive and self-sabotaging. You’ll have a real-time guide with whom you can share thoughts and experiences without guilt or shame. Whether digital or IRL, therapy can be a safe space from which you can launch your search for an exciting love connection.
Please reach out soon for a consultation. Let’s navigate the tricky terrain of dating (internet or otherwise) together.